OK, so I’m sure everyone with an Internet connection knows by now that Madonna is headlining this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. Big fat whatevs. All I care about is that Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. are going to be performing as well, backing up the Material Girl on her new and somewhat unbearable song “Give Me All Your Luvin.'” These guest appearances are exciting for two main reasons. First of all, it’s funny to think about how nervous NBC’s Standards and Practices department is going to be with M.I.A. and Minaj on stage and Janet Jackson’s nipple in the back of everyone’s minds. Secondly, I’m hoping upon hope that Minaj pulls an Elvis Costello, stops everything and launches into the song she should be performing. You know which one I’m talking about. Seriously, what sense does it make for her to be galavanting around at the Super Bowl NOT singing “Super Bass“? How on Earth are they passing this opportunity up? In the immortal words of Mugatu, “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” Of course, the only thing that could top this unlikely occurrence would be Sophia Grace Brownlee and her mute but completely awesome sidekick repelling down from a helicopter to join in. Now THAT would be super. I just hope their tiaras survive the high winds generated by the chopper’s rotors. Enjoy their kickass performance above, Minaj’s below, and join me as I cross my fingers and hope for a Super Bowl miracle.

Nicki Minaj — “Super Bass”